Odyssey 228: Part II

The Ballad of Batsto River

(To be sung to the tune of the Gilligan's Island Theme)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, 
Of a fateful scouting trip, 
That started from the Jersey pines, 
Aboard a metal ship. 
The weather it was beautiful, 
The river winding clear, 
Seven scouts and six adults, 
Began the day with cheer, Began the day with cheer.

At eleven a.m. we launched the fleet, 
But by the hour of one, 
We hit the ultimate "Endor" trap, 
And the battle had begun. 
The river blocked by fallen trees, 
A railroad bridge in sight, 
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, 
We’d be sleeping there all night, We’d be sleeping there all night.

The river twisted, turned, and choked, 
We thought we’d never clear it, 
But "King" Hammond brought a saw, 

And showed a warrior’s spirit! 
Then Mr. Q—the Great Blue Hulk!— 

Tossed logs like a frisbee disc, 
He pulled the gear and portaged hard, 
To save the group from risk! To save the group from risk!

The hours ticked by, the weekend grew, 

A nine-hour rowing strain! 

With Wolverine Greg and Thunder Paul, 

We pushed right through the pain. 

Wonder Woman Karen held the line, 

And Data (with the wipes!) 

Kept track of every cut and bruise, 

And joked about our plights.

So join us here this Monday morn, 

As flags fly proud and high, 

To honor fallen veterans, 

Beneath the Jersey sky. 

We remember those who gave their all, 

So we could live and thrive, 

And we thank the Lord we made it back, 

On the epic River run, 

Where only the tough survive!

For the Grand Finale, please check out our tribute video here: https://youtu.be/J8GalCLSusQ

Odyssey 228: Part I

Christopher Nolan, while I am excited for your new movie coming out I must say you got nothing on Troop 228 from Warren NJ.  Matt Damon, pffft . . . you want the wrench? (Good Will Hunting reference) The wrench is for pansies, we'll take the chainsaw! 

Noah and I went on our first Boy Scout camping trip along the Batsto River in Wharton State Park of the Pine Barrens, NJ and it certainly did not disappoint in terms of adversity, challenges, and character-building.  Things started off fantastic as we set off at 11 am on a beautiful day through the winding tributary navigating the east coast equivalent of a mangrove.  However, after mile marker 2 at around 1 pm, we hit what I can only describe as the "Negan trap" but instead of being blocked and surrounded by Saviors and an RV, it was fallen trees and a railroad track bridge.

I lost count of how many downed trees we had to cut through, climb over, limbo under or overcome in some other way but thanks to our fearless commander: "Leonidas" Hammond (thank goodness he brought a pocket saw) and Mr. Q (the blue Hulk) we survived this adventure and now have the story of a lifetime.  

We even had to portage once which means that we had to unload all of our gear (stoves, water jugs, and every pack/tent) to carry the canoes overland for a quarter of a mile to get past a dozen trees blocking our path.  

So while the search for a new James Bond is currently underway it is probably safe to say that almost everyone's favorite 007 character is Q (besides the Bond girls).  However, the Brits may need flamethrower Rolex watches and armored Aston Martins but our Mr. Q (ie. Lender) only needs some string and a match and he is unstoppable.  He was lifting canoes out of the river and tossing logs like they were frisbees.  Outside of the water, he was a magician with the Blackstone Grill making the meanest breakfast sandwich I have ever laid eyes on and I have visited the food trucks of Rutgers.  It was like Tim Horton ate Wendy's who was dating Jimmy Dean; I needed a 3rd hand just to pick up the beast but thank God we had loaded up on protein because who could have guessed we would be rowing for 9 hours straight on Saturday.  

Rounding out our cast of characters on this epic Odyssey was "Wolverine" Greg, "Thunder God" Paul (minus the eye-patch), and our very own Wonder Woman Karen (yes, I am mixing DC & Marvel but this is my blog, my rules).  As for me, I was really digging the 80's nostalgia so I like to think of myself as Data from Goonies.  But instead of 'slick shoes' I brought the antibacterial wipes and played the role of overseer to record these events so we would never forget.

By the numbers: it took 9 hours to navigate 4 miles of river on Saturday, Sunday took us only 1.5 hours to navigate 2 miles.  Our traveling party consisted of 7 scouts (3 older, 4 newbies), 6 adults (2 leaders, 4 parents), and an infinite amount of courage and grit. 

Mr. Q had told me over coffee our first morning that his goal is to make these Scout trips memorable and fun for both kids and adults so that come Monday morning, you feel like you accomplished something and cannot wait to get back to work.  Well, as I sit here nursing my sore muscles, popped blisters, and random cuts I can certainly say I am looking forward to my boring office job and sitting in some nice air conditioning for a few days.  Mission accomplished Blue Hulk.  Thank you to everyone who made this trip a once-in-a-lifetime experience.  I think we all learned something about ourselves on the river and survived in one piece.  Only one of the scouts lost his iPhone and Thor damaged his ego a bit when he capsized about 20 feet from our campsite.  Other than that, all the cuts and bruises (and Mr. Q had A LOT) will all heal in short time.  

Stay tuned for a Part II blog post and a special video tribute coming soon on the kids' YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@twinbuild.  

I still need to figure out where to develop and digitize the 35mm roll of film since I brought an old-school camera with us given the poor battery life of my iPhone.  

A Masterclass in Dysfunction

 We didn't ask to be heroes.  We were just regular employees showing up to work, trying to do our jobs.  But when the new management team arrived bringing their army of chaos we had no choice but to suit up:

Background

Once upon a time, Englebridge Thacker was a solid player in the technology world of financial services.  Then came the new management team, armed with confidence, disconnected from reality, and ready to make decisions faster than anyone could say "due diligence."  What followed was a corporate implosion so spectacular it's now whispered about on Wall Street as a cautionary tale.

The Leadership Disconnect

The new CIO set the tone early.  For the first global town hall, while hundreds of employees gathered in a grand auditorium, she chose to broadcast from a tiny room in midtown, a mile away from the action.

For the second town hall? She dialed in via phone because nothing says "visionary leadership" like speakerphone charisma.

Meanwhile, decisions were made with zero regard for feasibility or best practices.  Strategy became a game of darts thrown blindfolded. The result? Chaos so thick you could cut it with a butter knife.  Employees bolted at the first chance (resigning, retiring, or being "restructured" out of existence), collaboration died, fear and confusion reigned.  Priorities changed weekly, and accountability was a myth.

The Bottom Line

Englebridge Thacker's downfall wasn't inevitable, it was engineered by leadership choices that ignored fundamentals.  This is what happens when vision isn't paired with execution, and when leaders forget that people notice when you phone it in literally.

Spoiler alert: Unlike the movies, we didn't get a happy ending. But we did get one hell of a story.

Epilogue: The Snap

The final blow was when they let our Captain go - the heart of our team, the one who actually believed we could turn this ship around.  That was the last straw for me, I had to escape the wreckage with my sanity (mostly) intact.

Now only Widow and Strange remain, still fighting the good fight.  They're the real heroes, the ones who stayed behind, navigating the chaos with grit and determination. Power on, you're braver than the rest of us.  Miss you both! 

An Epic Farewell

 Twas the Night Before my Last Day and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a Pretzel ... huh?!  And so it began, one of the most memorable nights out in my post-Covid era.  So much so that I had to dust off this old blog so that I could properly memorialize this story so that I will never forget it.

December 12, 2024 - Even before the news of my impending departure we had planned a holiday outing with the team.  Not some corny corporate shindig with cheese cubes and cheap swag but a proper night out with lots of booze, greasy bar food, good friends, and endless possibilities.

The date was set and the battle plan laid out like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone we were on a mission to get drunk and have fun. 

Our first stop: Parlour Room.  A reunion of the original 5 team members for some quick bites to line our stomachs for the oncoming tsunami of alcohol that was about to be unleashed.  We missed our dear friend Anu but she was close to our hearts and always in our thoughts.  If NSYNC ever got back together again, I think they would be jealous of the five of us. 

With Zayan's little one sick back home, she bid us adieu as we embarked to rendezvous with the rest of the clan.

Our Pub Crawl began at Gibney's and I guess the rest of the city had the same idea since it was packed inside.  This would not stop us and the holiday decorations, Stella, Guinness, and Tito's helped.  Once Christina arrived with the Polaroid camera we knew it was going to be an unforgettable night.  As luck would have it, 4 bar stools cleared up and soon, we were camped out in a perfect area for the 9 of us. 

After 2 rounds, we decided it wouldn't be much of a pub crawl if we stayed at one place so we headed to the Pig & Whistle to fight more crowds and drink more beer.  

My memory gets a little fuzzy after the 4th round of drinks but I vaguely remember sneaking cigarettes like we were in high school, jokes about poor vegetarian pub fare options, and stories of $1400 magnum bottles of wine.  

The 3rd stop on the tour was Reichenbach Hall and by this time, some of our members began calling it a night with children waiting at home and long commutes beckoning.  We ordered every type of bratwurst possible including a vegetarian sausage which was quite tasty and the largest pretzel I have ever seen.

A toast to our friend Sam who could not make it out as he was attending a funeral for his grandfather in Columbus.  

Our condolences to you and your family (sorry we were all pretty inebriated for this picture) 

At the German Beer Hall, after we had stuffed our faces with sausage, cabbage, and potato salad, we packed up the jumbo pretzel and called an audible on the pub crawl itinerary.  Between bowling and karaoke, one of these things would bring out 'Wild Brady' so we decided to head to K-Town to live out our American Idol dreams.  

It was jam-packed but we luckily were able to secure a private room for the price of a $300 bottle of Tito's.  Amar's first time karaoking did not disappoint as Brady channeled his inner Britney, Tay-Tay, and Bon Jovi and we belted out tunes.  Gary and Henry "Want it that Way" for the Backstreet Boys and Amar, Lance, and Vafa were just "Perfect" as they serenaded Amar's wife with Ed Sheeran in a video.  I saw on the news at the doctor's office (Peter got walking pneumonia) that Mariah Carey had to cancel her Newark concert tonight due to illness but I think Christina could easily sub in.  There are too many pictures and videos to share so maybe that will have to be uploaded to our YouTube channel at a later point.

Our last bar was called American Whiskey (I think) where we polished off the rest of that pretzel and another 3 ended their night.  Brady had an exotic dental massage scheduled in the morning, Lance realized the Lyft Guaranteed Home code wouldn't work past midnight and Christina had a pup at home sleeping in her spot.

And then there were 4 gentlemen left - just like the wolfpack in the Hangover movie.  At about 3 AM, I vaguely recall stumbling into JFK27 one last time to retrieve Amar's laptop while the security personnel eyed Gary suspiciously and Vafa stood guard outside.  Gary made the bold decision to skip his AirBnB to wait for the next train home at 5 AM while the 3 of us took an Uber back to Jersey City.  From Vafa's apartment lobby, we all went our separate ways.  I got home at about 4 AM, noticed the Elf on the Shelfs were up to no good and collapsed on the couch after swallowing 3 Advil.  Sadly, I don't think I would have made it up the stairs.  In the morning, the twins said I was snoring so loud they thought a mystery UFO drone had come down the chimney into our living room.

A big thank you to everyone who came out and the incredibly thoughtful gifts and messages.  You all made me feel so popu-ler...lar and I will miss the team.  I hope that it will not take another farewell party to bring this group together again.  Happy Holidays and hope to see you all in 2025!

Merry TwiXmas

As we bust out our Santa hats, flip-flops, and shorts for this unseasonably warm Christmas Eve on the East Coast, we wanted to wish all of our friends and family a Happy Holidays and a healthy and successful New Year.  2015 has been nothing short of life-changing for us, oftentimes indescribable the mixed emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, despair, and hope.

We have the utmost respect for all parents now so as we prepare to ring in 2016, we wanted to say a big thank you to Mama Su, Mama Lau, Papa Lau, and all the generations before us for raising us and paving the way for us in our journey from adulthood into parenthood.

Please enjoy this short 2-minute video and fun holiday message:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Casa del Twin,

Not a creature was stirring, not even Calvin

The stockings were hung by the fireplace with care,

In hopes that the babies would not wake with a scare

The boys were snuggled in cribs each in their room,

Lucky us, let the Walking Dead binge-watch resume

When from the baby monitor there arose such a clatter,

The parents sprang from the bed to see what’s the matter

Peter was awake, such a happy little guy,

Toothless grin and round face like a Smiley Fry

Noah was sitting up, all giggles galore,

Laughing even when Calvin has a midnight accident on the floor

The boys had now learned how to stand,

But they were too scared to fall down and land

A bit of soothing & shooshing then cry it out:  just let them

Anyways our day would soon start at 4:30 A.M

Oh, the babies first Christmas, what a lovely sight

Happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

Ready or Not, Here We Come

So I just celebrated my last birthday as a MNK (married no kids).  I am happy to announce that after many trials and tribulations, we are expecting. And of course, it is not like us to do anything half-assed, so it is not one but two babies . . . BOOM

Apparently, the little ones were first the size of poppy seeds,
then sesame seeds so we joked about making our own little everything bagels.  As we enjoy this quiet time of television watching and once-a-week laundry cycles, we have been looking for a bigger place to live since our household size will double in March.  There is a mix of emotions as I balance the relief and joy of getting to this point with the terror and uncertainty of what to expect.  I find myself woefully unprepared and reading "daddy books" seems fruitless.  Instead, for practice, I should set two different alarms on my phone for 2 AM and 4 AM nightly, go upstairs and then listen to Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody" on repeat.  The alarm names could be Twin 1 and Twin 2.

All joking aside, we feel very blessed and eagerly await parenthood.  And just like R-Fed, we are happy to be having two peas in a pod.

New Beginnings

So I took a brief hiatus from this blog as we had a lot of things on our plate. First, we had to make a rather hasty return to the United States and bid adieu to Shanghai as well as part ways with my cute little nephew, sister, and brother-in-law.  The return to NY was prompted by the need for Jenn to undergo radiation treatment (flashback to Feb 2011) in this very high-tech Star Trek-looking device:

Luckily, that went off without a hitch and other than some side-effects of the steroids during the radiation therapy and the obligatory hair loss, it was relatively uneventful.  We quickly settled back into our old condo & routine and before we knew it, Jenn was working in the city again and life had returned to some semblance of normalcy.

However, I had returned to a similar position when we had first departed for China (flashback to May 2011) and so it felt in some ways like taking a step backwards.  It was not long before I contemplated trying something different; after all I had been with the same company for 14 years upon graduating from college.

The job search process can be very emotional.  It is essentially like another full-time job that entails hours of research, constant follow-up, and rigid organization.  There were many ups & downs and after tapping my personal network, trying different headhunters, and joining Ladders.com it seemed as if I was destined to remain at my current company.  But just when it seemed like all hope was lost, two amazing things happened within weeks of each other.  Many people say that when you apply to jobs online via a company's web-site that it goes into a "black-hole" so I was absolutely thrilled when I got a callback.  Things moved very quickly and before I knew it, I was flying out to Mountain View for final round meetings.  To-date that was the most intense and difficult 4-hour interview I have ever endured but it was also thought-provoking and I enjoyed meeting everyone there.  Although the circumstances and the location did not work out for us, it was around the same time that another opportunity presented itself via a reference from a former colleague.

Again, things moved very quickly and within weeks, I was in final negotiations for the precise details of the offer.  It has now been almost exactly 2 months and this is how I feel:

(the picture is actually from the Battlefrog Race: a 5K obstacle/mud course designed by Navy SEALS)

I am trying something completely different and it has been non-stop busy since day one but I am learning a lot and enjoying it so far.  I have done more Powerpoint in the past 6 weeks than in my first 10 years at my first company and now my dreams consist of Excel and Flowcharts instead of SQL and Production outages.  I miss my former colleagues with whom I had formed very strong bonds but those are friendships which will continue to cross corporate boundaries.

Team SU Reunited

It's been quite busy in Shanghai since my sister, brother-in-law and 3 year-old nephew moved here.   We are enjoying ourselves and have migrated our blogging skills over to Tumblr since it is not blocked by the Great Firewall (GFW).  Check out my more succinct chronicle at hennifer.com or my sister's blog at yearinshanghai.tumblr.com

HK: H & H IV

An archive of previous Adventures:
Part I: Tokyo
Part II: Japan
Part III: Shanghai

This time, Henry visits Hoa in Hong Kong for a boys weekend of epic proportions.  Asia is great because traveling is generally quite efficient and convenient.  I was greeted at the Airport Express train station by Hoa since it happens to be connected to our new office in Kowloon and we headed back to his apartment together.  I was still recovering from a cold so I had the occasional cough or sneeze all of which were met with icy stares and masked eyes.  They are very sensitive to H1N1 or avian flu in HK so any sign of the slightest sniffle and I felt like I was patient zero.  In contrast, during my subway ride to the MagLev on the Shanghai side, a mother was pushing her stroller past me and hocked a loogey right on the train by my feet.  Other than my mouth dropping open, nobody batted an eye.

On Friday we had a whirlwind day at the office.  It was my first time in the brand new ICC tower and I was blown away by the complexity of the new double-decker smart elevators.  Hoa was explaining to me that none of them have any buttons for the floors and when you swipe your badge it is programmed to know what floor you are going to so it will group you with others to maximize efficiency.  The two opposite elevator banks would also alternate going up or down to leverage the physics of a massive pulley system.  Once inside your moving metal box, it is even more disconcerting when it stops all of a sudden and the robotic concierge tells you that someone is getting on the elevator in the upper level.  It seemed incredibly complex and all of my coworkers that I spoke to complained about how you have to budget an extra 10 minutes anytime you need to transfer floors for meetings.

It was great to catch up with old colleagues and chat with others who had previously only been a voice on the other end of a conference call.  After work we met up with our other good friend Joey who had recently moved back to HK from Shanghai and set off for Macau.  All of our significant others were out of town which is why this was the perfect storm for a guy trip.  Traveling to another country had never been so quick and easy.  We bought tickets for the ferry, quickly passed through customs, and found our seats on the jetfoil.  In 50 minutes I was greeted by the bright neon lights of casinos equivalent to the Asian Atlantic City.  Since Macau was a former Portuguese colony, it has a lot of European architecture and influence.  We hopped on a city bus and explored the sites a bit.  Luckily, Joey was like a walking GPS and although he had only been to the city a handful of times, he was able to navigate us around and immediately knew which stop to get off at for the center square because he recognized a certain tiled wall.  We enjoyed the Feliz Navidad decorations and bought a bunch of Macau snacks and beef jerky as souvenirs.

Next we took a tour of all the mammoth casinos.  They have most of the big players that you would expect: Wynn, Sands, MGM, and Venetian.  Almost all of the rinky dink hotels also had their own smaller casinos and the Lisboa had two huge establishments which I assumed was a Portuguese company.  The older Casino Lisboa was the home of a unique sight that was famous err perhaps notorious.  In one of the shopping malls attached to the casino there was a 'racetrack' for chickens (a Chinese phonetic euphemism for prostitutes).  Just like Las Vegas, this sin city of the East is also home to its fair share of street-walkers but in this case, it is a circular parade of beautiful women in tight dresses of every color of the rainbow strutting back and forth through the shopping mall.  To your right, a fruit shop where you can buy some pears or a watermelon, to your left, a silk shop selling everything from ties & scarves to traditional Chinese gowns.  And all along the corridor in between was a stream of cleavage and make-up looking bored as can be walking back and forth in an endless loop.

After gawking for awhile, we decided to head over to a spa to get a massage.  For most of these places, you pay an entrance fee and then food and drink are included while your massage is deducted from your balance.  The facilities were very clean and you can just relax in your robe on lounge chairs or try one of the many whirlpools, the sauna, or the steam rooms.  You could play checkers, cards, or mahjong and they even had a decent selection of DVD's with portable players.  We opted for some tea and then loosened up in the hot tub a bit before getting some dinner.  I'm a sucker for marketing so I tried the 'Portuguese' fried rice which was essentially fried rice with some weird mystery meat.  We asked what the 'Soup of the Day' was and they replied, "soup" so I guess we were probably expecting too much from the kitchen and staff.  After our massage we passed by the casino's again and considered stopping by to gamble a bit but since I could barely see through the haze of smoke and almost every table was baccarat, we decided to head back to Hong Kong.  At the ferry terminal we enjoyed some po-tarts or Portuguese egg tarts which are like the normal dim sum treats but flame seared on top like creme brulee.

On Saturday we slept in and took advantage of the nice afternoon weather to play some volleyball in the park.  I had never seen public volleyball courts on converted tennis courts before but right in the center of Causeway Bay there was a sprawling section of concrete soccer, basketball, and volleyball courts.  After dinner we headed to Blackbird Lounge where Joey knew they had a nice rooftop desk.  Our other friend Tammy was also in town for business so we enjoyed catching up while making fun of the strange mix of clientele which included a group of 50-year old women sporting tiaras.  Next stop was Brickhouse, a hidden Mexican joint in Lan Kwai Fang, which is like Sanlitun in Beijing, or Bleecker St. in the Village.  It was as if Tammy had been transported back to Williamsburg because it had the same hipster vibe as Brooklyn.  We met up with some other former NY friends there but then decided to retire for foot massages (translation: 60-minute naps)

Sunday saw us temporarily join the ranks of the yacht people.  We met Joey at the yacht club for a very nice lunch outside overlooking the harbor before we took his sweet boat out for a cruise.  That was probably the nicest watercraft I have ever been on and he took us on a leisurely cruise out to Sai Kung.  At Clear Water Bay, we slowly drifted around the marina looking at other boats and Joey excitedly pointed out different makes and models.  For Tammy and I, we could hardly tell the difference and I suppose for some guys, these big bad expensive toys are like bags for women.  I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a Goyard or a Chloe either.  We took turns driving the boat back to HK and it started to rain quite heavily as we pulled into the dock.  Hoa had already organized a 4 hour volleyball tournament at night so we went to a local shop to buy some mops in case the courts had big puddles.  Of course by the time we showed up, it had already stopped raining so we looked retarded carrying 4 mops and 2 golf umbrellas between the two of us.  Regardless, we had a great time playing ball and us two old men were incredibly sore on Monday morning.  I left the HK office at 11:30 am and then rolled into the Shanghai office at about 5 pm to finish up my day.  All in all, a great long weekend.

End of the Road

What an Adventure . . .



So the last episode is finally upon us (we get some cameos at the end).  I will not provide any spoilers and for those who have actually watched the whole season, I hope you enjoyed it and are as pleased as we were with the winning team.

What a fun ride and although I wish we had made it a little longer or even to the finals, it was still an amazing experience and we are grateful to have been part of this season of the show.

Anything else I might write would not do any justice to the incredible summary and photo-collages that Khai Shing put together here.

For the airing of the Finale, ICS used my hook-up to arrange a party at the Shanghai Brewery.  It was jam-packed and they almost would not let us upstairs even though Jenn, Brandon, and I were on the show!  However, after some smooth talking, the cover was waived and we were greeted by adoring fans.  We were even asked to sign some autographs (4 to be exact).

It was great to see some of the other teams (Trainers, Yelin, Father/Daughter, Harvard, Brandon), the cameramen, production crew, and directors there.  From what I can remember of the night, I had a great time - from pre-gaming at Zapata's with pitchers of margarita, to the Shanghai Brewery Finale party, onto the after-party at Camel Bar, all the way to bowing to the porcelain god.